I do not need anyone’s approval

GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION ALREADY

Winter 2020 here in Sonoma County; rainy, soggy, frosty mornings, warm days teasing for spring, now waiting for rain again. Our response: eating more than we work off, praying more and just resting more. I’m trying to relish the slower pace, the fireplace, and finishing stupid little projects I put off until a wet winter day. How about you?

I try to imagine keeping pace with my achievements of last year, and then, quite frankly, I just don't want to anymore. I’ve simply had enough of last year.

Why try to keep up the momentum of a long summer day deep in the winter weather of now?

I’m not ready to fully embark on 2020 yet, at least not at the quick pace of a normal spring day with sunny weather and the garden lush with possibility. And that being said, I look forward to spring. I’ll take a few more weeks of slower pace, before I prepare for my 2020 race. How about you?

Who’s permission do you need to slow down and rest like most other animals do in the colder days of winter? Who’s permission do you need to finally take that new action your heart has been urging you to take? Who’s permission do you need to finally love yourself unconditionally? Who's permission do you really need?

I’m trying to say this lightly and with folly. Call in the whimsical. I am attempting to bring a sense of humor to our overly practical, one sided mind. I don't know if you can relate, but my mind is quick with responsibility and all of my years of ‘shoulds’ handed down by lots of known and unknown characters. Add on the unspoken rules about just about everything about who and what I ‘should be’.

My winter fire side conversations with loved ones and those just introduced, swirl around what are perceived to be complex issue of rules, order, difficulty (as if life should be hard), and then endless doubt as to what others would think if we were to just follow our heart. As if by following our heart the world might just come to an end.

Who’s permission do you need? I ask myself this question too, who’s permission do I need? At the bottom of the quest, the answer is nobody, but myself. So then why is it so hard to give myself permission to follow my heart? Other people might find out that I am simply following my heart, which often leads to a lot, and I mean A LOT, of opinions. What about the money? What will others think? They may not approve. To follow your heart is just so messy. To follow your heart is not practical. To follow your heart is uncertain, its ambiguous.

After great deliberation, I have concluded that I do not need anyone’s approval to take some much needed time off. What about you? What will you finally give yourself permission to do?

Best of winter 2020

Ariana and Casey at Casari Ranch, Bodega, CA

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